Wedding Night Advice, from a friend

Because It's my Birthday, I wanted to switch gears for a moment and share with you an amazing letter I received from one of my best friends on the night of my wedding. I ended up reading it the morning after and i It was one of the most touching (and true) things I could've read. I continued to find out how true her words were many weeks after. Not only did it set me up for realistic expectations, but calmed my nerves as a new bride and the nerves of "the wedding night". So without further adieu, a beautiful letter that I hope calms your nerves before your Wedding.

Jillene,

Hey beautiful lady! Life has gotten so crazy and busy for both of us but I wanted to take a moment this week to write to you!

You are always an inspiration and while growing up is a good thing, in a lot of ways you are a good reminder of passion and vivacity I had when I was younger that I DONT want to lose. I love how bold you are in your faith and how authentic you are in life. I know that a lot of people see a bubbly always smiling chica, but I know that there is so much depth beneath the surface and that those smiles come out of JOY, but not always happiness or an "easy life." Thank you for always pressing on and being real in your walk. Thank you for encouraging me and for being a true and invested friend! Its funny, I have lived many places and I kinda suck at keeping in constant contact with people, but there are some people that you know that even if you only see them once every 10 years it will feel totally comfortable and like you can pick back up right where you began. You are def one of those people I hope we can experience married life together too! haha.

But speaking of experiencing married life together...YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!! Like insanely soon! I know this is something you have longed for and I am praying for you! While I don't know Patrick, I know you and what you tell me, and I know that he has stood by you as you sorted everything out in an admirable, patient, and steady way that speaks so highly of his character! I don't know if I ever told you this but when you brought him over our place to play games both _____ and I noted afterwards how you seemed different around him, but in a very good way. You seemed more confident, easy going, and just comfortable with you. Don't get me wrong...Im not saying you needed him or something like that to be those things...just saying he brought out great stuff in you...and noticeably. As you head into marriage it will be awesome (guilt free sex! yay!)...BUT it will also be weird haha. Marriage is a crazy thing. I remember the first time ____ and I had sex (why is she sharing this you wonder!!!)...we both had kind of the same reaction. I don't know if disappointment is the right word...but kind of haha...and a bit of "Oh S****...what did I do? Now we are really locked into this for real" hahaha. I don't say that to scare you but to share those moments are normal and real and don't freak out if you find yourself feeling that way about anything (may not be sex)! Honestly...the sex just gets better with time hahaha....but maybe yours will rock from the get go. Just saying if its not magical...or its magical but also complex and mixed with lots of emotions THATS OK!

Somebody once told me that marriage is like a mirror and they were soooo right. Your spouse will bring out all kinds of stuff in you. Sometimes it will be beautiful things you never saw before. Other times it will be really ugly stuff and you will want to blame them for "making you this way." But the reality is they are just bringing out what is there deep down and that's a REALLY good thing because it allows God to refine it! I really do think more than anything in my life marriage has been equally rewarding and challenging...it forces selflessness and growth and trust in God in a way nothing else really has. You are in for a whirlwind girl! haha I am no expert...we have only been married a little time ourselves but I just wanted to share a bit of what I know...and that is that marriage is harder than you expect....but so worth it.

I remember a moment in a big fight wondering if I had made a mistake (and to be honest for a split second lamenting that divorce was wrong...dark moment) but then I realized something. If we all married someone who it was smooth sailing with all the time...it would ultimately mean that they were not challenging us and that they were not forcing us to face that crap inside us that would be there no matter WHO we married. I'd rather have it come out so God can deal with it. At the end of the day I find more and more its not about the crazy highs and lows.. its about the constant companionship...its about knowing that even after a bad day you are there and committed...its about togetherness...there is something so wonderful about knowing you have someone on your team.

My biggest advice is just that...Always remember who's team you are on...Remember that when you fight you don't win or lose the fight...you win together or you lose together. Remember not just what you love about each other but what you LIKE about each other....and commit to not just loving each other, but loving who you will each become. And never stop dating!!! Love you chica. So happy for you and so happy to know you!

Love, Your Friend