Harmony. Back in LA

So we are back in LA. I was filled with dread of like, ugh vacation is over now I have to have real life. HOWEVER, I had requested 4 vacation days from work which I had saved for a very long time. So I was stoked to still not have to check my work email or stress and stay in vacation mode. Once I got up I realized that my mom had dropped off some curtains that she left in my pantry and curtains for my bedroom. The combination of being extremely tired, not wanting to be home but stay on vacation filled me with stress. I just started crying feeling like, AH! My house has constantly been a "storage unit" for my parents stuff since I moved in. It is filled to like 120% of its capacity with so much stuff that my brother and I never asked for and new little things are constantly being dropped off here. After spending a weekend in a beautiful hotel room that was so Patrick and my Aesthetic (modern and minimalist) I realized how cluttered I felt in my house. I just got so burdened.

Patrick sat with me and let me feel what I was feeling as well as helped me move through those feelings. I realized that I do love my house, but I just want to get rid of 75% of all the stuff that's in it. Other than my bedroom, all my furniture is stuff that's been passed down to me for convenience but not because it was my style or stuff. Don't get me wrong, my house is super cute, it's just not "me". I love rustic, metal, wood, clean lines, earth tones, simplicity, and like very Asian spa like vibes. My room is like that! My house IS NOT. I am able to relax after having the freedom to just feel what I needed to, and then understand what I wanted to change and calmed down. I just realized that I've never really had a space that I could freely decorate to create the mood and vibe that is fully me and I'm almost 30? I just felt trapped by my house. But, Patrick helped me envision with some re-modeling and different purchases, we could totally make this adorable house feel like our vibe, a spa. Haha...

We then leave to go to Kreation in Venice. We grab some delicious Acai bowls and sit on a bench to enjoy them, so crazily tired. We laugh and chat and hang. Then we walk over to intelligentsia coffee to try and wake up a little. We sit for two hours dreaming about what kind of wedding we would like to have and when we want it. I'm realizing more and more that I just want to wake up married to Patrick. All the wedding stuff just overwhelms me, but I want to honor my friends and family. But spending all this money on a wedding feels crazy? We talk about what are the "must-haves" and what is really our goal for this wedding? He's so supportive and helpful at simplifying things for me. We dream about how simple we can truly make it. How to have a lovely but minimalist wedding.

We then walk to Scotch and Soda, his favorite store to shop at, to see if there's anything fun for him to pick up! He tried on so many fun things, my favorite was this dark green jacket or this grey hoodie he had on! Both not his vibe, he thinks they're too Broey... but I kinda like it when he's Broey :) It's like very GUY...and hey, I'm a heterosexual woman so anything very guy to me is like, hey whats up... ;) Anyway...I also try on this super fun cotton dress and funky sweatshirt that I fall in love with! I don't really shop for myself because well I don't like shopping! Since this brought me so much joy I was like, okay yeah! Plus I love how they're from his favorite store so they kind of make me think of him too.

We keep walking around in different stores enjoying the beautiful architecture of Abbot Kinney. It's so fun having the same taste and getting inspired mutually by beautiful architecture and interior design. It really fills both of our creative spirits. We then go into this Asian styled store and look at the incredible dishware. We both LOVE wooden plates and utensils as well as heavy stone/ clayware. Everything was handmade and perfect. We were going bonkers for their hand made gems! It was so fun enjoying the little things with him!

We then drive off to Sage Vegan Bistro in Culver City for dinner. We enjoy some delicious food and conversation. Then we head back to my house to watch Love Actually. We had never watched a RomCom together and he had never seen this classic! It was too cute. The super romantic scenes we would just get so giggly in love with one another and smile and kiss and laugh and blush. I was just so overwhelmed by how in love with him I was! A couple points during the day I had started crying because I couldn't believe I was going to have to say good bye again. I mean he's only in the first 3 weeks of his 3 month tour. I just got this blessing to see him randomly! I am in awe that God brought my heart to a place where I hate having to say goodbye to him. These past few days have been such an answer to prayer and consisted of so much healing. Cuddled up in his arms was the only place in the world I wanted to be. I was so grateful for how in love we were. (HOW IN LOVE WE ARE). I am filled with gratitude for this blessing of joy.

God, I give you all the honor and Glory for this relationship. You truly brought us together. You destroyed all fear. The moment you gave me that dream of the gift of harmony you actually gave it to us. It wasn't a fake promise, but a gift of your healing power. I can't believe how in love I feel. I can't believe how much I'm ready to marry him. I can't believe that I look down at this ring on my finger and think that it sparkles more than it ever has. God thank you for bringing us back together and healing my mind.